Follow your heart, not what society tells you to follow

I’ve been trying to fit my career, my personality, my lifestyle, and my passions into a neat and tidy box. I was always aspiring to be the perfect “cookie cutter girl.” Perfect edges, no mess, and playing by the rules. I didn’t really love or believe in what I was doing… but the cookies looked good to the rest of the world, and that’s what mattered.

Up until now I’ve chalked it up to my perfectionism, eldest daughter syndrome…you know, just the societally acceptable labels we love to put on ourselves. But it’s much deeper than that.

It wasn’t until recently that my “cookie” crumbled. Sorry, I love a good pun and throughline.

I found myself with tears in my eyes, a pit in my stomach, and both a weight lifted and gravity to the moment.

Someone looked me dead in the eyes and said “Why are you building a business and saying it’s about leadership? Why are you only saying it’s for HR professionals, corporations, and leaders? That’s not at all what I gather when I talk to you, JT.”

I stopped dead in my tracks and said defensively,

“Well because I have always worked in corporate America and I used to lead trainings there on leadership, so that’s what people know me for…and uhh, you know, society likes to talk about leadership development and thinks it’s important. So, positioning my work as leadership training helps me to land accounts and get new business??”

Yes, I ended my response with a question. Shouldn’t someone who knows what they are building end their response with a resolute and emphatic PERIOD.

“Hmm”, he said, “I just feel like it still doesn’t make sense to me. Maybe it’s me, maybe I don’t understand what you do and what you’re building.”

I sat there and my heart started racing and my palms sweating. I was called out. Was I a fraud?? What am I doing? What am I even building? Who am I?

The cookie had crumbled. The box I had put myself in all neat and tidy was broken open. Shit. Now what was I going to say?

It all finally started to come out. I had an awakening in that moment that I had been trying to fit in with what I believe the world views as “acceptable.” I launched a business and didn’t want it to fail, so I kept up this trend I had going in my life of just doing what the world deems good and trying to fit the mold.

If the world told me leadership development is “on brand” and what companies will buy, then that’s what I would sell.

Except who I am and what I want to teach isn’t JUST leadership development.

It’s human development. It’s human formation. The work I am doing is in the formation space.

Are you even familiar with that phrase? Formation space? Probably not?? Hence why it’s scary.

When I say ‘formation space,’ I mean the intentional shaping of who we are.

This includes our character, attention, relationships, and daily practices. The Daily Agape brings that work into leadership and organizational culture. But it’s not just a leadership training. It’s life training. Training for how to be a person who seeks to give and receive more agape love.

The box that society tells us to fit our ideas and passions into might not be the right box. But here’s the deal, the box is safe.

I guess what I’m trying to say is this is my coming out post. My letter to the world to say that I officially declare that I am stepping out of the box. I am stepping out of safety (and man, it’s scary) to pursue and build what I really believe in.

Stay tuned for more…New book coming: October 2026.