Agape: The love we all long for.

We are in a crisis of belonging. I’m not trying to be dramatic but it’s the truth. We live in a world where loneliness is rising (cue data from the last few years), division is deepening and kindness often feels countercultural.

We sit and scroll past one another passively consuming highlights, work beside one another, sit in classrooms with our peers, and yet many of us report still feeling unseen.

However, in this crisis, we have sought control. Humans need to make sense of their world and so we have tried to gain control in what feels like a very broken world. What have we tried to control? Well, we have become obsessed with fixing ourselves.

We consume podcasts, attend workshops, read self-help books and chase the next breakthrough that promises to make us healthier (you know, remove all PFAS from your house and life), wealthier, more productive, or dare I say it — more fulfilled.

We focus on the holy trinity of “me, myself and I.”

Yet something still feels missing.

I believe that feeling stems from a disconnection from one another. I believe it stems from not understanding how to truly love and support other people.

I believe what we’re missing is agape.

What is Agape?

Agape is an unconditional, selfless, action-oriented love that works for the good of another person.

Unlike romantic love, which is often dependent on attraction, or friendship love, which is often built on mutual affection, agape is offered freely. It does not require someone to earn it. It is not dependent on whether a person deserves it.

Agape love extends to all people, regardless of their worthiness or actions. The giver of agape love gives selflessly, expansively, and intentionally for the vitality of the receiver.

This is what makes agape different.

It can be extended to a friend, a stranger, a colleague, a neighbor, and even someone who has hurt, betrayed, or disappointed us.

Agape asks a simple but profound question: “What would help this person flourish?”

And then it moves us to action.

The Misunderstanding About Love

Mention the word “love” in many workplaces, classrooms, or boardrooms and people get uncomfortable.

Love is often viewed as something soft, sentimental, or inappropriate for professional settings.

But perhaps we are operating with the wrong definition.

Agape is not romance. Agape is not favoritism. Agape is not abandoning accountability. Agape is not lowering standards.

Agape is choosing to see the humanity in another person and acting in ways that support their dignity, growth, and well-being.

Imagine a workplace where people genuinely felt valued. Imagine a classroom where every student felt seen. Imagine communities where people sought the good of others as often as they sought their own.

Would we really want less love in those spaces?

Or would we want more?

What Every Human Being Is Really Looking For

From the day we are born until the day we die, whether we want to admit it or not, we all long to be loved unconditionally.

Don’t you?

Beneath our goals, accomplishments, titles, and possessions lies a deeper desire: to know that we matter.

To be seen.

To be valued.

To belong.

Agape responds to that longing.

The challenge with agape is that it cannot remain an idea. It must become a practice. Love that stays in our thoughts changes nothing. Love that moves into action changes everything.

This is why I believe agape is cultivated through three simple practices:

See

Many people feel invisible.

Seeing someone means paying attention. It means noticing their struggles, strengths, hopes, fears, and humanity.

People cannot feel loved if they feel unseen.

Praise

Praise is the practice of recognizing the goodness, value, and contributions of others.

In a world quick to criticize, praise becomes an act of generosity.

It reminds people that who they are and what they do matters.

Serve

Service is love in motion.

It is choosing to use our time, attention, gifts, and resources to support another person’s flourishing.

Service transforms love from a feeling into an action.

A Better World Is Built One Person at a Time

We often talk about changing the world as though it requires a massive movement. Perhaps it begins with something smaller. Dare I say it also has nothing to do with AI?

Perhaps it begins with one person choosing to see another person. To praise another person. To serve another person.

And then doing it again tomorrow.

Agape will not solve every problem.

But it can transform relationships, families, teams, classrooms, neighborhoods, and communities.

In a world where many people feel unseen, unloved, and disconnected, agape may be one of the most radical acts available to us.

Now, go see someone, praise someone, and serve someone today. You just might shock yourself with how good it makes them feel. The best part? You’ll feel better too.