Maybe becoming impressive isn’t the goal.

What? But I’ve spent my entire life trying to make other people think I was “the real deal.” Maybe you can relate?

Over the last few years I’ve read the books. LOTS of books. I’ve listened to the podcasts, tracked the habits, optimized my routines, worked on my leadership skills (I’m convinced these are are called leadership skills but they should actually just be called being a good person)...

Put more simply, I’ve focused wholeheartedly on becoming a better version of myself.

And I don’t regret any of it.

But while writing my upcoming book, I became convinced that we may have confused development with something much deeper.

Development changes what you do. Formation changes who you become.

A person can become more productive, strategic, influential, disciplined, and successful…

…and still make people feel invisible.

That’s the realization I can’t stop thinking about. It keeps me up at night. Really. Head on pillow, eyes wide open just thinking…

We’ve built an entire culture around self-improvement.

But what if the goal of life isn’t simply to become a better version of yourself?

What if it’s also to become the kind of person who notices others?

Who celebrates others?

Who serves others?

Lately I’ve been asking myself a question: Have I spent more time improving myself than learning how to love people well?

Oof.

Well, the answer is simple — Yes. Yes I have. What about you?

Maybe the question doesn’t feel fair or quite accurate. Okay, let’s run with this…because I love growth, I love leadership development, and I love learning.

But somewhere along the way, many of us became experts in personal optimization while becoming novices in human connection.

Maybe that’s why so many people feel unseen?

Maybe that’s why so many workplaces feel transactional?

Maybe that’s why we’re exhausted?

We’ve been developing ourselves while neglecting our formation.

The deeper work. The work of becoming people who see dignity in others. People who encourage, pay attention, and who make others feel valued.

That’s the work I’m interested in now.

Not just leadership development. Human formation.

And honestly, I think the world could use more of it.

Tag one person who helped shape who you became — not through advice or coaching, but simply through the way they treated you?