We are addicted to ourselves.

Are you someone that is obsessed with “self-optimization.”

It’s okay, I am too. I have Developer as my #2 CliftonStrength after all…but I’m starting to think that we have been sold a lie.

I believe that our world has tried convincing us that the answer to every problem is to become a “better” version of you.

Wake up earlier, track more habits (hello every single wearable I’ve owned over the course of my adult life), read more books, listen to more podcasts, improve your mindset — growth mindset or bust, increase your productivity (do more with less), fix yourself, fix yourself, you need a better skin care routine, fix yourself, your muscle mass drops significantly after age 35 if you’re a man, fix yourself.

Meanwhile, we are EXHAUSTED! Did you just yawn? Maybe you didn’t yawn but you probably just looked at the 3 other screens in front of you, maybe answered a phone call and dare I say you are probably sitting on the toilet reading this?

We are tapped.

I don’t mean tapped like the Oura ring said you got poor quality sleep last night tapped either. I mean tapped like we can’t optimize ourselves much more!

We have swung the pendulum and focused on the trinity of “me, myself, and I” for too long and we are tired.

Growth isn’t bad! Growth is a good thing. But you know the saying — “Too much of a good thing…”

This endless self-improvement journey many of us have been on for years has been rewarding in many ways, but also very isolating in others.

If all I think about all day long is myself, how sad is that?

It’s an addiction. We are addicted to ourselves.

It’s time for a shift. A shift to thinking about other people more than we think about ourselves.

Gosh this feels jarring. I know.

Okay, but what about self-love, self-actualization, self-promotion?? Aren’t those things important? Yes! They are I agree.

Have we forgotten how to truly see people because we have become obsessed with only seeing ourselves? I would unfortunately say — Yes.

Have we stopped celebrating people around us because we are so fixated on our own shortcomings or inadequacies? Potentially.

Can we even remember what it’s like to put the needs of someone else before our own?

Is this going to be a shift in how we behave as humans? Yes.

Is it going to be hard? Yes.

Is it worth it? I think you already know the answer.

The future of leadership and humanity cannot just be about performance enhancement and betterment of the self.

It must also be about seeing, praising and serving others.

Maybe the questions leaders should ask less is — “How do we get more out of people?”

And instead ask — “How do we help our people feel more human again.”